The Third REJECTED Harry Potter Script
by Hogwarts Graduate
Summary: This is the third in the series. I would rather you please visit the livejournal user name rejectedscripts seeing as this might not be up for long. Please review though, it would mean a lot.
1. Chapter One: Under Cover Prologue

Hello and welcome _(again)_ to the third Rejected Harry Potter scrip. If you have enjoyed the first two scrips, you are bound to just love this one. If you enjoyed the third movie, then I'm sure you're enjoy this REJECETED version of it. I hope you all love it as much as the past two. Now, without further ado _(and because the music on the scene selection on the PoA DVD is driving me insane)_, I present to you: "The Third REJECTED Harry Potter Scrip."

I do not own Harry Potter, nor do I own any of the characters. I am just writing this for fun. Enjoy.

Chapter One: Under Covers Prolouge

_(We see a light off in the distance. It's flashing. This really strange noise is in sequence with the light. Lowly, we can hear "Hedwig's Theme" playing. If you don't know what "Hedwig's Theme" is, please quit reading now Only kidding! The light is getting closer. Something is shining now. Could it be? Yes. It's the WB sign! No. That's not it. The light is still showing up behind it...)_

Harry:  
_Lumos Maxima_  
_(The light shines again. Ahh, it's Harry. Good ole' Harry Potter.)_

Harry:  
_Lumos Maxima_

_(We are right outside his window now. It looks like he's... under the covers? He's hunched over and light is coming from where he is. We are now inside his room. Gasp! A noise! Harry throws the covers off and lies down on his bed like he is asleep. As soon as he is down, the door open and Uncle Vernon appears. Vernon turns on the light and looks around the room. He doesn't see anything that interests him so he closes the door and leaves. Once the door is shut, Harry gets up, back under the covers.)_

Harry:  
_Lumos Maxima_

_(Light comes from under the covers. Now we are under the covers with Harry. Ahh, he's practicing magic. Wait... I thought they weren't allowed to do that outside of school. Oh well, it adds to many of the mistakes to come. Harry has a book open and he looks like he is tracing a curving line with his wand when it is lit up. It goes out again.)_

Harry:  
_Lumos Maxima_

_(He starts over again, but the light gets stronger. Then dies out again. There is another noise outside his room. Harry doesn't worry about it and tries it again.)_

Harry:  
_Lumos Maxima_

_(The same this happens as before, but this time, when the light dies he hears someone clearing their throat. Harry pulls back the covers and Uncle Vernon is standing in the doorway. Harry gulps. A bright light comes from the room and shoots outside to the words "Harry Pooter and the Prisoner of Azkaban." A wizard flies up on a broomstick in front of the title.)_

Flying wizard:   
This really has gotten old! Can't you think of sometime a little more creative?

_(He fixes it to "Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban" and flies off. We follow the light back to Harry's room where he is still under the covers, Uncle Vernon seems to have left. We see the light come from under the covers again, and we hear another noise from outside. The door opens and Aunt Petunia steps into the room in her nightdress, hair curlers, and mud mask on her face. She flips on the light and taps her foot. She clears her throat, and slowly the covers are pulled down revealing Harry and Vernon. Harry is holding the wand and Vernon is holding the book. Petunia throws up her hands and walks back down the hallway. Harry and Vernon look at each other and pull the covers over their heads once again to continue practicing the spell. The camera zooms in on the blob under the covers and slowly fades out.)_

A/N: I'm so sorry it took so long for me to get this up. I've been taking summer classes all summer and when I finally got out at the end of July, I had more studying I had to do. I'm really going to be trying to up date regularly. I hope you all enjoy this and I hope I can keep it up longer than just a few days before it gets taken down.

I would like to tell you all about a new livejournal name I've started so I can post my REJECTED scrips and so people can comment on them and no one can take them down. It's really easy to remember. The user name is rejectedscripts. That's it! I really hope to keep this up for as long as I can, but if I can't, just remember you can always visit this site for all the scripts!

P.S. In case you were wondering, the HTML for the site is: http/ Thanks, guys! 


	2. Aunt Marge's Big Mistake

  
I do not own Harry Potter, nor do I own any of the characters. I am just writing this for fun. Enjoy.

Chapter Two: Aunt Marge's Big Mistake

_(Black screen. Doorbell.)_

Petunia:   
Harry. Harry.  
_(Doorbell, doorbell.)_  
Harry. Harry! Open the door.  
_(The camera turns on and Harry is standing right at the door. He unlocks it and opens it. A woman carrying and umbrella walks in and hands the umbrella to Harry without looking at him. A dog is running right next to her. It's a bulldog. She rushes into the living room.)_  
Marge. How lovely to see...

_(The dog jumps on her and she lets out a scream. They begin making small talk. Harry and Vernon are still in the foyer. Uncle Vernon is taking off his coat. Harry is unfolding a piece of paper.)_

Harry:   
Uncle Vernon, I need you to sign this form.

Vernon:   
What is it?

Harry:   
Nothing. School stuff.

_(Vernon begins to walk into the living room.)_

Vernon:   
Sure! Just remind me later.

_(Harry follows Vernon and once he enters the living room, everything and everyone goes quiet, except for the television that Dudley is watching. Everyone is staring at Harry, especially Marge who is giving him an "I thought you died" look.)_

Marge:   
Oh. You're still here, are you?

Harry:   
Yes.

_(She hands the dog's leash to Petunia.)_

Marge:   
Oh no you didn't.

_(She snaps her fingers in a "Z formation.")_

Harry:   
Uh, what?

Marge:   
_(to Harry)_  
Damn good of my brother to keep you.  
_(To Vernon)_  
If he'd been dumped on my doorstep it'd be straight to an orphanage with him.  
_(Vernon slaps her. Marge stares at Vernon.)_  
What was that for?

Vernon:   
I like him.  
_(He points to Harry.)_  
I want to keep him.

_(Everyone, except Dudley, stares at Vernon for a minute. Dudley lets out a huge fake laugh. We can so tell he's trying to get Aunt Marge to come over and visit with him. Marge forgets about being slapped and turns to Dudley.)_

Marge:   
Is that my Dudders? Is that my little neffy-pooh?  
_(She throws her arms up in the air and races over the other recliner where Dudley is sitting. She throws her arms around his neck from behind him. Dudley just seems to ignore it and continue eating his little candies and watching television. Marge kisses Dudley's head repeatedly. I'm sorry, but that's just GROSS! Petunia walks around the couch and brings the bulldog over the Dudley and Marge.)_  
Give us a kiss. Come on. Up, up, up!

_(She pats the chair and the dog jumps up next to Dudley. Vernon turns to Petunia. Vernon turns to Harry.)_

Vernon:   
Take Marge's suitcase upstairs.

Harry:   
_(he whines)_  
Gosh! It's so heavy. I don't want to!

Vernon:   
I'll do it!

_(Vernon jumps for Marge's suitcase and rushes up the stairs. Everyone stops talking and stares at Harry. Harry turns and looks at everyone else.)_

Harry:   
What?

_(Next scene! Bob __(Hey, hey, hey, do you remember Bob? He's the cameraman from the Chamber of Secrets. I just wanted to refresh your memory in case you forgot!)_ is standing outside looking in through a glass porch type thing. Everyone is sitting around a table. Next we see someone setting down an empty plate on the floor that is covered in what looks gravy? Hmmm. The dog goes to attack/eat the plate.)  
Marge:   
Finish that off for Mommy. Good boy, Rippy pooh.

_(She pat him on the head. Dudley is looking at something. It looks like he's looking at the food on the table but... ah, no. Vernon has some Brandy. That must be it. It couldn't possibly be that TV on in the "dining room." Must be the Brandy.)_

Vernon:   
Can I tempt you, Marge?

Marge:   
Fill 'er up!  
_(To Petunia)_  
Excellent nosh, Petunia.  
_(She snaps her fingers and Harry perks up. Apparently snapping fingers puts him in waiter mode until the job has been taken care of. He's holding a plate and he rushes over to Marge and picks up the plate off the floor, the one Ripper was eating off of. Marge holds out her brandy glass and he pours in a drop.)_  
A bit more!  
_(To Petunia)_  
Usually just a fry up for me, what with 12 dogs.  
_(Another drop is added.)_  
A bit more!  
_(Two more drops are added.)_  
There we go.  
_(Harry walks into the kitchen as Marge sips her brandy, which is now gone. She hiccups.)_  
Oooooh! What a beautiful little doggggggy!  
_(To Petunia)_   
Is she yours?

Petunia:   
Um, _he_ is _yours_.

Marge:   
Get out! No way!

Petunia:   
Um...  
_(Vernon gives her a look like, just play along.)_  
Yes way!

Marge:   
Whoa. Here, puppy! Have a wittle dwop of bwandy!  
_(She lowers her glass so Ripper can have some. She's giggling insanely. She looks up at Harry.)_  
What's so funny?  
_(Harry turns away from her, not answering the question. He continues to serve his duty as waiter/dishwasher/gardener/electrician/doctor/truck driver/teacher/baseball player/singer/artist/wizard.)_  
Where is it that you send the boy, Vernon?

Vernon:   
Hogwarts.

Petunia:   
_(shriek!)_   
No! What a horrible place that...  
_(Everyone, including Dudley, who has been entranced 100 by the television, is staring at her.)_  
...sounds like? I mean, honestly! "Hogwarts." Pssh! Sounds like something for... criminally insane people!

Marge:   
I thought that's the type of place your wanted to send Harry.  
_(to Harry)_  
Do they use a cane at this "Hogwarts?"

Harry:  
You could say that...

_(Vernon stands up... and his eyes bug out, just because it's funny looking... and because I have to power whether or not he does it.)_

Vernon:   
It is NOTHING like that, Petunia! You wouldn't know! You haven't been there!

_(Petunia stands up.)_

Petunia:   
I don't need to go to know it's a place for fffreaks!

_(She spits when she says "freaks.")_

Vernon:  
_(turns purple)_  
Are you saying out son is a freak?

Petunia:   
Harry is NOT our son!

Vernon:   
He's a son to me!

_(Harry stares at Vernon.)_

Harry:  
Daddy?

Vernon:   
_(He holds his arms out.)_   
Come here... son.

_(Harry walks over to Vernon, who still has his arms outstretched. Harry stands right in front of Vernon and slowly fits into Vernon's arms. They embrace in a hug or something emotional like that. Marge gets bored.)_

Marge:   
So, Petunia, what did Harry's father do?

Petunia:   
_(sitting back down, yet still enraged)_  
Nothing. He wasn't employed.

Marge:   
...and a drunk, too? Hey, we could have been friends!

Harry:   
_(He pushes Vernon away)_  
My father wasn't a drunk!

_(The brandy glass the Marge is holding shatters into millions of pieces. Okay, well, maybe not millions, but a lot of pieces.)_

Marge:   
Don't worry, Petunia. Don't fuss. I have a very firm grip.

_(Vernon, who apparently missed the whole glass breaking incident, looks shocked.)_

Vernon:   
Your... father? But, Harry, I thought I was your father.

Petunia:   
Vernon! Dudley is your son!

Vernon:   
_(Doesn't pay attention to Petunia)_  
I thought we had that bond.

Harry:   
Oh... I thought you were joking...

Vernon:   
_(he turns his back on Harry and folds his arms)_  
I think it's time you went to bed.

Marge:   
Oh, Vernon, just because the boy doesn't want to be your son doesn't mean you send him off to bed. You have to put a boy like that to work!  
_(She snaps her fingers again and points to the glassy mess.)_  
You, clean it up.  
_(Harry's back in waiter mode. He rushes over with a napkin and cleans up the glass and begins to walk back to the kitchen.)_  
I forgot what I was about to say. Something about your mom and I think how much of a bitch she was. But... there was something about blood mixed in, too...  
_(She picks up Petunia's brandy glass and finishes it off.)_  
Wow. I'm bored. Anyone else? Harry, why don't you blow me up or something?

Harry:   
Gladly.  
_(Marge sits back in her seat and relaxes. She begins giggling. Her fingers tips start to bubble and her face gets heavier.)_

Marge:   
_(still giggling)_  
This tickles!  
_(Her bottom begins getting too big for the chair. Her stockings on her legs are getting runs in them because her legs are getting too big. Her coat starts to rip by the seam in the arms. One by one, the buttons on her blouse begin to fly off. The first one hits the cuckoo clock and the little cuckoo comes out and begins... uh, cuckooing? The second one just falls on the table. Vernon stands up to help her, but Ripper attacks his leg.)_  
Hehehe!  
_(Dudley, who's attention has been focused back onto the TV after Vernon and Petunia's fallout, looks up at Vernon who is trying to get the dog off his leg. Marge now rises in her seat. Literally. She is floating in her seat. Her neck has now gotten so big that her necklace breaks and beads fly everywhere. Dudley, who was laughing at the television, for the first time, now looks at Marge who is hovering above him. He looks amazed. He slowly gets up as if he wants to touch her. The chair Marge was in now breaks. A button pops off of her blouse and right into Dudley's mouth. Dudley collapses to the floor. Marge is holding onto the tablecloth now. Vernon is trying to reach her, but Ripper is still at his ankle.)_  
This is fun!  
_(Harry doesn't know what to do. He's just standing there staring at all the chaos. Dudley crawls back up to the table to get another look at Marge. Another button pops off her blouse and smacks Dudley in the head. Again, he goes flying to the floor.)_  
Weeeeee!  
_(Ripper is still putting at Vernon. The cuckoo clock is still cuckooing. Petunia is just standing there, having no clue what to do. Marge has now floated to the ceiling. She bounces off the ceiling and starts flapping her arms like a bird. Harry moves to the door in the kitchen. Marge does a flip in the air and lands face up on the ceiling in the glass porch. Harry moves forward a few feet to get a better view. Vernon is moving toward the outside, but is dragging Ripper with him. Petunia slowly walking behind Vernon.)_

Vernon:  
Stop!  
_(Marge is making her way outside, and tries to grab the doorframe on her way out. She is now outside and slowing making her way toward the sky. Vernon finally catches up with Marge and grabs her hands. She's getting bigger and bigger and is flying higher and higher.)_  
I've got you, Marge. I've got you!  
_(Vernon has now been lifted into the air and Ripper is still biting Vernon's ankle floating with Vernon.)_  
Hold on, hold on.

Marge:   
Get off!  
_(Vernon is shaking Ripper, but Ripper is not letting go. Vernon looks up at Marge.)_  
Let go! It'll be okay!  
_(A huge smile comes over her face.)_  
Trust me! Beeeelieveee!  
_(Vernon is so confused. He lets her go and falls to the ground. Marge screams, but it's a good scream, like when you are riding a roller coaster or something.)_  
Weeeeee! Woo-hoo!

Petunia:   
Oh, Vernon!

_(Petunia runs over to Vernon. Vernon is on his knees now, looking toward the sky. Ripper has finally let go, but is now barking toward the sky.)_

Vernon:   
Marrrrgggee!  
_(Marge, who is now a huge, round ball, is flying up higher and higher toward the sky giggling and laughing all the way up. Dudley is standing in the glass porch type thing and is staring outside at his mum and dad. Something gets his attention, oh... it's the television. He forgets all his worries and goes back to his natural habitat of watching the TV. He gets some sort of dessert off his napkin around his neck and eats that. Vernon and Petunia __(along with Ripper)_ are still outside. Vernon's on his knees with his hands in the air, Petunia is look toward the sky, and Ripper is still barking and jumping around.)  
Please! Marge! Come back!

_(Now, Vernon is on his knees and it looks like he is begging, but he goes back to waving his hands in the air. Petunia now has her handkerchief out and is waving it back and forth as if waving Marge goodbye, and Ripper is still barking and jumping around. Harry... well, well, well, we've seem to have forgotten about him amid the chaos. Anywho, Harry runs out of the kitchen and up the stairs. He enters his room, slams the door, and kicks the night stand which has a picture of his parents on it. His parents were dancing, but now they have stern looks on their faces and are staring at him. Lily has her arms folded and James is shaking his finger at Harry. Harry hangs his head and Lily and James now seem satisfied. They go back to their dance and Harry watches.)_

A/N: Ahhh, vacation. Right now, I am currently on vacation in Florida. I'm hoping to get a lot done this week, considering I don't have any school work. Please don't forget that if something happens to this story, please visit: http// www. livejournal. com/ rejectedscripts

All you have to do is take ou the stars and the spaces and you're there! I've worked very hard on it and it's still not anywhere close to being down. I hope you all enjoy this script. I ask that you please just stay with me for a while, I have some VERY big things planned! 


End file.
